Teacher: Reading a book is better than sex.
Teacher: It’s like a 10-hour orgasm!
Girl pipes up: Yeah, and with a book I actually get to finish!
[Boys’ laughter dies off almost instantly as the girls hoot]
there are approximately 1,013,913 words in the english language but i could never string any of them together to explain how much i want to hit you with a chair.
My parents aren’t home
You know what that means
*sits in the living room instead of sealing myself away in my room*
this is too accurate
*parents close the door*, *emerges slowly from room like an easily startled deer*
*Parents come home* *scurries back to room like frightened squirrel*
Y’all think this is a joke but it’s 100% accurate
Sometimes I forget that people on the Internet are actually real people. Like the guy scanning your bananas at Walmart could be the guy who sends you anon hate.
damn you banana man
WHERE’s the banana guy?….